I understand that social media are the whole new deal. So I joined Linked In. I blog. It is just part of the deal that those of us who go to trial should try and keep up with giant new trends.

It keeps us real, like our juries.

So, I attended a webinar about Twitter offered by Kevin O’Keefe, the fellow whose company did this beautiful blog  for me. Kevin told us lawyers that Twitter “fills the void between your blog and your emails”.

Well, I have a lot of voids in my life, but that is one I hadn’t quite noticed. I contemplated that for awhile. And because I do think Kevin is a genius, I got set up with a Tweet Deck (it actually chirps) so as to acquaint myself with this new phenomenon.

Well, the thing chirped and I looked at a tweet. These tweet deals are a maximum of 140 characters, so one can’t say a lot in them. The tweeters were saying things like “in San Diego running through park” or “walking down street and around corner now”.

And so? Was it filling the unfilled blog–-email space?                

Not so much.

I mean, I guess if I wanted to be on the box (that is what I call the computer in honor of a senior partner who requested a new one from the IT department.) every waking moment, I suppose that Twitter would have some purpose (but remember, I thought the camera phone was just a passing fancy). The tweets seemed random and pointless. Mostly it just seemed like the dumb stuff people in the early stages of dating say to each other when the endorphins are dulling their faculties.  

I decided to leave my Tweet Deck on for a couple of weeks to see if it  will grow on me. Like my camera phone.

Then my favorite physician, Sanjay Gupta, announced that surgeons at well-known Midwestern hospital  had begun Tweeting surgeries.  He showed video of the surgery. Yes, there was a surgeon, a first assistant, and a tweeting doctor on a laptop.

And, I wondered out loud:

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY: WHY?”

My imagination ran wild. I began imagining myself as the in-house attorney for the hospital. I imagined first receiving the news that there would be an OR tweeting event (I hoped that it wasn’t from CNN).I imagined explaining to the Hospital CEO why the prospect of tweeting a surgery from the institution just caused all members of the legal staff to develop diffuse rashes. I also entertained myself with conversations between the professional liability defense attorney and a tweeting physician. 

I entertained myself with these conversations for most of the weekend . Endless hours of amusement.

I went to Twitter and read the surgical tweets. They said things like: “we are now sewing the vaginal cuff”. Or, my particular favorite “ manipulate the uterus as they are doing the surgery. This apparatus also serves as a guide that helps the surgeon know that they”-what? Ran out of characters?

I hope there wasn’t a surgeon on the other end waiting breathlessly for the answer. What possible contribution does this make to anyone’s health or well-being?

I thought I might be missing something, so I took a personal poll of smart people: lawyers, IT people, health care workers. None of them could see the point. Not one point. Observing the rule of fairness, I did see one tweet thanking the tweeting surgeon for the “medical education” he was providing.  Well, OK, I will spot them that.

But if I ever require surgery, please tell me that my surgeon is relying on more than 140 characters and a Tweet Deck.